Dating and jealousy
This is a big relationship issue that often does (but doesn’t have to) ruin your relationship. No matter what your partner does, you still feel jealous UNLESS you track it down, dissect it, and reduce it to a speck of its former power!Jealousy is the green, fire-breathing monster lying in wait to devour relationships. Jealous people are: Suspicious Accusatory Smothering Blaming Shaming Manipulative FEARFUL That last one is really BIG! They are afraid of being betrayed, making a mistake, not being “in the know,” left, lost, abandoned, and wrong. That other poor partner has nothing to do with it at all!
Because in the chance the opposite happens: that you’re not hurt, but instead accepted, loved and validated—you’re able to have a really fulfilling relationship.” To sidestep jealousy and reduce your chance of getting hurt in love, Thomasian recommends making sure the guy you’re with is worthy of your trust.For something that can take a long time to build, trust sure is easy to break.“The truth is when you let go and trust, you risk some awful heartache,” explains licensed marriage and family therapist Rachel Thomasian.(Now, just in case you’re about to go off the deep end and yell at me “But, s/he cheated,” that is not about jealousy. Phil says: “Jealousy is a poorly disguised need for power and control.” Here’s some telling relationship questions: You’ve got a problem. Even if your partner has never strayed in thought, word, or deed, your suspicious behavior may drive them to do that, too. You can get relationship help to find out where that jealousy came from, where it’s hiding, and why it sneaks its head out to devour your relationship.That is about actual behavior that took place that now needs attention and relationship help.) Jealousy isn’t about something that really happened. It worms its way up from within you, looking suspiciously at your partner over your shoulder at all times. It is your insecurities tying you up in knots and spitting them out at your partner. If s/he is being accused of cheating all the time, they might take that as you telling them to go ahead. Don’t let jealousy ruin your relationship and your life.